Crazy Language - English

Let's face it - english is a crazy language
There's no egg in eggplants or ham in hamburger.
There's neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England
French fries and freanch toast? Nope, not from france.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
Guinea pigs is nether from guinea nor is it a pig

And why do writers write and fingers don't fing?
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham...
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose : One geese. One moose : one meese?

If you have a bunch of odds and endsand get rif of all but one...
what do you call it?
If teachers taught why didn't preachers praught?
If vegetarians eat vergetables, why do humanitarians eat?
Isn't it weird that people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and cargo by ship...
Have nose that runs and feet that smells?
Park on driveways but drive on parkways?

How can overlook and oversee be opposite,
while quite a few and quite a lot are alike?

Isn't it crazy that a house can burn up as it burns down
And you fill in a form by filling it out?
An alarm clock goes off by going on?

The saying goes..
it'll be in the last place you'll serach
Of course it'll be in the last place.
Why wouls I keep on searching is I have already found it?

People have the tendency to point to the
wrist to ask for the time
Hell yeah, I do noe where my watch is.
Do you point to your bladder to ask for directions
to the toilet?

That's why, when stars are out, they're visible
but when lights are out, they are invisible.
When you wind up your watch, you start it
When you wind up an essay, you end it.