Every word is a needle through the heart

After camp, my social life should be going into a hiatus mode. I don’t think I will be going out anywhere for anything for a very long while. No idea how am I going to survive it.

The long scolding and nagging after work everyday. Planning my future for me which only includes a 500 a month salary and no certificates. In a way, I know she’s trying to push me to try harder, but it’s making me feel less and less motivated by every scolding.

I know I did not do well in my final terms this year. You really didn’t have to talk behind my back to my friend you know. I may not seem much but I still do have feelings deep inside me. Saying in front of me “must sent chen to tuition. don’t wan like the jie jie.” Every single word pierces through my hurt and staying there so it hurts.

You say I don’t feel anything even after everything. Can’t you see the tears I have been holding back? I no I am not smart so I try to make up in every single way possible. Getting editor for magazine, you ask – why not chief? I get monitor – Why you take that job? I get IT director, you ask – why not president?

Sometimes, I really feel kind of tired. I am really not even interested in the things I am studying but I do not want to switch to art stream. Actually, I do not even know what I want?

Maybe this whole being grounded thing is actually a good thing. I think I need that push to make me start studying. Catching back up on all the work I missed out on. Taking a break from everything that had been going on. Take a break from Leo. Take a break from magazine. Just taking a break from certain stuffs which have been troubling me.

I will be missing my last month of freedom. Gonna be seventeen next year. Being grounded all year long? It’s going to be hell of a great year. Can’t wait!

Off for Camp

Off for camp from Friday till Sunday
28/11/08 - 30/11/08

Updates

I havent been updating my blog for so long. With all the auditions and Make Some Noise event stuffs piling up, I really had no energy left. Not to mention the freaking internet connection that’s so freaking screwed up now. I stole pictures from yi may’s blog. =)

She just put that jacket on cause she found it amusing.
LOLX may, just being herself.


One red paperclip preparing


Sixth Grace


They decided to cheer for
MOM! THERE ARE HOLES IN MY SHOES!

This is the flyer I am going to submit. =)
Work on it for like half the day.

 
I find this freaking nice.
He claims to only use a mouse and the application paint.
it’s my name if you guys can’t read it. Lolx.

Thanks Alvin, he has a few more on his blog. =)
Go check it out if you’re free.. =)

Really big thanks to the performers whom showed up on time for the audition. Thanks for not pulling out last minute or anything. On monday, me and Zen were really on the verge of crying. Everything turned out fine on Tuesday, Thank God for that. =) Gotta go continue designing the ticket.. Love ya! =)

Ex 6J-ians

Had gathering in One Utama today, was late because we had to go over to Serena’s mum flower shop to pass her some camp stuffs. Me and Keyao walked all the way from my house to Serena’s mum’s flower shop – IN HEELS. Yupz, our feet pretty much hurt after that and we had to make out way to BHP to grab a cab which was so rare. But.. we made it, 30 mins late. =P

WE met in old wing’s McD and went for lunch at TGIF’s after that. Gastric problem chose to take place at the moment making Keyao eat most of the meal herself. Sorry yeah… =) Of course, we camwhored. According to them, I camwhore damn fast and change face expressions damn frequently. LOLX!

Me and Soon Hwa

Hui Qian

 
Hui Qian, Keyao and Yi Qian

 
Fried Mac and Cheese

He was wondering how to put it in his mouth.
Btw.. this is dedicated to Yan Leng and Yi May
And btw he has this thing for girls in cats costumes. *inside joke*

Nadia came by later

Group picture. Girls only.

Here’s your picture Keyao.


The guys played pool while the girls stoned for awhile

 
I taught them girls how to play pool after that. =)

He had been annoying me throughout the whole day okay?!

The girls gave up playing after awhile.

This little kid is Yong Zheng. He is so freaking cute!
He was staring at us play for so long so I decided to invite him to play.

He is damn Pro wei. He claims he has only played like… three times only.

Then we went to the arcade and played some games to kill the time as we had 20 minutes more till our movie started. It was so cool, we bought the whole row. Forgot to take a picture of it though. Madagascar : Escape 2 Africa was okay okay compared to the first movie. I think Melman is so freaking romantic.

Despite the whole entire time I kena zat by all of them. I know I very short larr happy. Kept getting hit on the head. Yes, I realized that I was wearing heels and I was still the shortest one. Still, it was a cool gathering. Better than the previous ones at least. =)

Dedication posts

Okay, since the two of you did a dedication post to me.. [awwww…] So I’m guessing I need to return the favor? =p

Hazel.

Crazy bimbo girl here. I remember when I met her in maths tuition, she had a super dulan look on her face. It kinda scared me, till she started cracking all her lame lame jokes. She loves starting her sentences with “There was this time…” which sounds like that girl from American Pie who goes “There was this time at band camp… it was so funny!” She’s crazy over Cats Whisker ever since that time I brought her to the shop. =) Sorry for FFK-ing you so many times.. =/

I know you wrote a damn long post for me, but I am kind of not that good with words? So this is the best I can do larr. =p

Hui Lyn

What to say about this girl? She was the only one who fell for the wig prank the longest. =) Whatever you say.. I still rock more than you man! This girl never seem to sense my sarcasms! Hope you get your shots done soon yeah? =) and the outing will be soon alright?

Hoi Sum

Who is making me dedicate a post to her. She calls herself a hoi sum which lives under the sea in a pineapple and calls me Cornetto cause she think my name sounds like it. =.= This girl is really freakishly crazy but funny. =) Late night chats with her are always filled with loads of laughter. We will go out sometime larr kayz? =) I still like this picture no matter what you say cause it’s pweeetttyyy… =P

A day wasted on YOUTUBE again.

Today, I went through the videos of all the disney channel stars. Meaning, Demi L, Hayden P, Miley C, Ashley T, Vanessa H. Their songs ain’t really that abd you know. It’s just the Music Videos. Like.. the way they dance in it, and how they try to act like something they aren’t. Just kind of funny. I think Ashley Tisdale has the best MVs so far.

Vanessa’s new song, or maybe you can say old song [new to me larr..] “Sneakernight” is so not her style. Sure she looks pretty in the video but the song is so not her, it makes her voice sounds so deep. The sneakers are really preetttty though.

Demi Lovato actually has quite a number of nice songs, but like I mentioned earlier. Her music video is like.. erm… The band behind her is actually better than her.

Then I saw Hayden Panettire’s video in the related video part. Being as curious as I was, I went to load the video before reading the comments. I have heard one of her songs before - “I still believe” and it was good so I thought, she can’t be that bad right? WRONG! Listen to this song and you would wish she just stuck to Heroes and Bring It On. Pay attention to the lyrics, not Hayden. =)

After watching Ashley’s “suddenly” .. it’s freaking good. She looks so pretty in this video. Seriously, out of all the Disney girls. I think she does the best Videos around. Being a model really benefits huh?

 

Just some opinion. After a day of rotting away in the room, YouTube is like the best thing online. =)

Vote for them!

Omg.. I was so bored earlier today that I actually went and googled google. And I found that One of the co-founder of google, Sergey Brin is born on the 21st August 1973. So cool right? He is like the 26th richest man in the world, 5th richest person in United States and 4th youngest billionaire on earth.

money money money, must be funny, in a rich man's world..

this is good..

 

Love the story line and the narration. The animation overall is just so good. Definitely worth the wait.

When I watched this video, I knew that she was somewhat in a coma and was going to die. Then, I browse through the comment and saw one that made me realize it was right..

“Wow! I love this! I loved how you used the sound of the oxygen machine and the crack running through her head at the beginning to sorta hint at what had happened to her without really saying it. Awesome.

She's in a coma and Death's waiting for her. Brilliant!”- Jesskorn6966

I officially cleaned my room!

I was so bored and after that wig prank. A genius disguise I would say so myself. Which made plenty people fall for it. The best reaction goes to TEH HUI LYN! Her reaction was the best ever cause she was so clueless! Sorry LYN!

Keyao came over because she felt bored. I had planned to clean up my room on the very same day so she was helping me out that day. You can definitely recognize her work of art.

Before

After

I now have a better and cleaner room. I threw three bags full of rubbish and recycled three boxes full of paper. Half the papers are like school's notice [that's what you get when you're a KK, you just have the whole stack, the extras in case anybody needs it.]

And, chill about the wig thing kayz? =) I won't be that stupid to cut bangs larr.. I mean, I know I don't suit the look one. So Yee hua, it's just a wig so chill! Yi may, don't deflate my boobs larr... =p

I cut my hair!

 

  from this..

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to this.

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see the disgusted look on my face?
Yeah.. that’s how bad it is

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actually, I am just kidding.
it’s only a wig.
So breathe people breather, and relax.

Happy HOLIDAYS!
*grins*

Penang Day 1

As you guys know, I have been in away in Penang for the past three days. Just touched down back in KL on Monday. So here’s the update on how I literally rot in Penang.

Checked in to the Gurney Hotel once we reached there. The room is so freaking nice and big! Our room was on the floor 33. Damn high up right?
 

 

After settling down, arranging all our luggage. It was off to lunch at this place called “7th street” or something. It’s a market with lots and lots of food stall.

  
This is the Penang duck kuey teow soup

Then, we went for a shopping trip in Gurney Plaza. I tell you, the salesperson there are like wolves, You’re like a walking prey as soon as you stepped into the mall. They pounce on you like hungry wolves. “Miss, would you like this?” “Miss, we are having this promo..”

After shopping for a bit, we walked to the hawker stalls near gurney plaza. Had the usual Penang delicacies.

the kiddos had this. fried stuffs. their fave.
“
We had better food like Rojak.


Asam Laksa which was heavenly.
and some soya bean with brown sugar.

Seriously, what’s Penang without the food? =)

IR meeting

Today’s IR meeting was… fun. WE actually did talk about IR stuffs. ie. Adeline called the African guy.

Adel Lynnette Yan Leng

He is the president of the African club so course he is from Africa.
Not really, see the president of Chinese Society isn’t from China
*stones thinking* oh.. hahahaha

Just one of the more bimbo-tic scenes. Overall, it was a quite stress releasing meeting. Our VOC got the number of the six bucket drummers. *applause* Then zen started playing her 90210 which we all watched while eating McD.

mark zen
Oh that’s the silver girl right?
I though u said you didn’t watch it.
Advertisement larr.
-___- right.. ads right.
*watches*
I thought you said you didn’t watch .
No.. I am just staring at the screen.

Okay, it was a you-just-had-to-be-there moment. Me and Zen laughed a lot today. At every tiniest thing. Especially at that heart to heart talk. She also gave me 7 episodes of Gossip Girl season 2!! Whee~

what’s meant to be..

will always be that part of you.
that.. disappointment.

Or maybe sometimes,

It’s just suppose to end this way…

And I shall pretend that everything’s okay

everything’s gone.

Tell me something I don’t know

Falling apart.
Breaking down.
I have numbed myself so much.

I don’t think I even know how to cry.

All the belated tags

Fine, I will do the tags today. All in one shoe kayz. =)

Tagged by Fateh
Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
At the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I hate half boiled eggs
2. I love watching YouTube
3. I love bathing in the middle of the night
4. I rather spend the money on food & books than clothing
5. I have a size 3 1/2 feet.
6. I do attempt to compose songs but mostly which are tuneless lyrics.
7. I love to write stories.
8. I love to listen to oldies.
9. I am afraid of spiders, height and CLOWNS.
10. I do not really like to watch movies in a cinema.
11. I do not like to go up to G.H.
12. I think I am going to be studying culinary arts which is means I have to study Hotel Management for 2 yrs next time.
13. I hate the smell of bleach.
14. I am Lactose Intolerant.
15. I get hyper when I get sleepy.
16. I tag, Bree, Melinda, Yoke Yee, Caridee, Wei Wen,

There.. I am done with the first tag.

Tagged by little ms.sunshine – Fiona

1. The person to tag you is?
    Fiona larr.. duh~!

2. Your relationship with him/her?
    Friends

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her ?
    cute, bubbly, chinese speaking, funny, friendly

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you ?
    Erm.. I am not so sure what..

5. The most memorable words that he/she has say to you ?
    When she labeled all of us in form 2.. =)

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
    I am not a les man..

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..
    I hope not! =S

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
    Just be little ms.sunshine.. =)

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
    Hmm.. did I do something wrong?

10. The most desirable things to do with him/her is..
       Just go out and have fun gua?

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
      Sunshine-ish

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you ?
       I guess I practically defined the word stress.

13. The character for you for yourself is ?
       Just being a friend.

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?
      Getting so stressed out over little things..

15. If you’ve a chance to choose how a person you wanna be…
      Stop stressing which is what I am doing now…

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
      *sniff sniff* Thanks… you guys are the best friends a girl can ever have.

17. Ten people to tag

       - Bree
       - Yoke Yee
       - Melinda
       - AlvinKei
       - Hazel
       - YeeHua
       - Fateh
       - Yi May
        - Su zen
       - Yu Hong

18. Who is number 2 having a relationship with ?
       Her dictionary.. *inside joke* =)

19. Is 3 a male or a female ?
      Female

20. If number 7 and 10 got together, would that be a good thing ?
      Yuhong and fateh.. considering they’re both guys. I doubt it. =)

21. How about 5 and 8 ?
      They are both of the same sex. I dun think so..

22. What is number 1 studying about ?
       What a typical secondary school student would study..

23. When was the last time you had a chat with them ?
      Today

24. Is number 4 single ?
      I doubt that.

25. Say something about number 2.
      Bimbo with a dictionary! =p

Finally I am so done with that tag…

Exams.. Over already?

Why am I feeling this certain emptiness now that exams are over? Today after the papers, most of the DU-rians did not scream and went out together for celebration. I guess that most of them went home to replenish their sleep.

The papers are all finally over. Now we can sleep at night without any nightmares or worry of waking up for exams.

And also now that the exams are over, there are so many birthday presents to catch up on now. The certain October babies will finally get their long awaited present. Pei Yeen and Yee hua, you better be in school on Thursday for you requested chewy BROWNIES.

Since she decided to leave us out without a notice like that. A certain someone shall have to pick up the shit that she left behind just with a small word of apology. I guess there’s no rest for the certain someone till everything’s done. Whilst she continues taking the credit. I really damn pity that someone else.

On a happier note, the unhappy incident in Keledang did not repeat itself today. I think everyone did their papers with ease right? =)

 

Reminiscence

Tomorrow, the form fours finals will finally come to an end. That means form four has just ended just like this. What will the future hold we have all yet to know. In two months time, we would be the eldest ones in the school.

It’s the crucial year for most of us. The year where we really have to sit down and study our asses off cause it’s SPM year. The lucky ones who were born a little earlier than the rest of us gets to take charge behind the wheels. For some of us, we may have to wait another year to get our license.

To me, secondary schooling life is passing by so quickly that it actually scares me at times. For those who already have their big future planned out ahead of them, guess they have nothing to worry about.

Not only do we have to satisfy our own interest but also think about the future it holds for us. I mean, who wouldn’t want to earn big bucks right? In such a materialistic world, money is really everything. You have money, you can do anything you want, without money, you can do nothing.

Not to forget the wants of our parents, what they think is best for us. I mean, why do I even bother studying physics and chemistry when I know it has nothing to do with the future I planned?

Let’s just imagine now, after all that long thinking and pondering. You’ve finally made a choice on what you were going to major on. Then, facts of life will come into your consideration. Is this a job in demand? How much would it take for me to finish the course? Would I get a job in the future?

You find yourself in delirium, weighing all the pros and cons heavily till you get that perfect proportion you have been searching for. Then you’ll move on, with no turning back after the decisions is made. The career you choose will be the one for life.

Soon, secondary school will all be just a memory buried somewhere in those many cubicles of the mind. Maybe taken out once in awhile to remind ourselves of the lives we once led. Maybe taken out as a story to be passed on. Maybe just an experience we will never forget in our lives. For some, it may be part of the painful process of growing up they just want to forget.

Will the future be bright and shiny?
Will it be a happy ending?

It’s all really in your mind and what you do…

Youtube-r

I am a YouTube addict.

I am proud to admit that fact. I log on to YouTube at least twice a day just to watch or listen to songs. Of course, to watch - Smosh, David Choi, John Nathaniel, Happy Slip, KevJumba, Joshverdes, omovies, norwegian recycling, hchsknights88 [alyssa] and all the amazing talents on YouTube.

It kinda does get depressing at time. I mean, I am watching all these people and i realize some of them are just about our age and they're someone. Someone where everyone's watching. They have all the talent in the world to do so. They started by just posting up a video on YouTube.

Just one video of one famous song and a few people hit it. BAM! There you go, you're the next big thing! People love you. People google you up, they leave comments, they spread the word. Too bad over here, even if you were famous on YouTube, you will always just be famous on YouTube. That's how life is here.

Look at all the disney channel stars. They all have their own album, whether they can sing or not they will have one! And guess what? They're only sixteen years old. Some of them are only like twelve or younger than that. What are we doing while they are living fame? Studying. Lolx.

See all the bands from other countries, we've bands just as good but they aren't big. Why? Beats me. Maybe because we really don't support our local music scence enough. I mean, how many of you out there actually listen to local songs? Other than those on Hitz.FM. I know I've posted this song up before but it's really good. Give it a try. Listen to the first few minutes, if you think it's a waste of ur time, u can go.

Just a song I have been listening to over and over again,

Cupcake Fetish

Actually, more like fetish for baking larr. Hands damn itchy and haven’t been baking for ages now! So today, I decided to break out the apron and over mitts [just a saying] and BAKE cupcakes!

Before baking.

After twenty minutes or so..

 
preparing the icing
Surprisingly it ain’t that sweet this time.

Kinda got lazy to decorate it so
decided to go with the sprinkles only.

Colour theme for the cupcakes
Pink and Green
color combination sounds oddly familiar.

 

I LOVE cupcakes.
Don’t you?

When I have the time and heart again
I shall attempt to recreate these two babies k?