Power Failure

I don’t know how to connect with people anymore. Maybe, I just don’t try hard enough to connect with anyone around me. In life, you have that certain friends who you can tell anything and everything to, then you have that group of hi-bye friends, and the other group of yeah-i-sorta-know-you-through-facebook friend.

I don’t remember when it all started disappearing or happening. I just remember one day, crying really badly after a big fight. Scrolling desperately down the contact list. The only person I used to cry to, was not in the country. I just kept scrolling up and down. The other number I couldn’t get through. On my last desperate attempt, I turned off my phone.

It’s like you’re reaching out in the dark, desperately trying to find that light switch but you just can’t find it. You are scared, confused and maybe you’ve kicked something so you’re kind of in pain. So you’re frustrated, you just want the light to come back on so you can see properly again. When you find this switch, you realized that there’s a power failure. You give up and slump onto the floor. You don’t even bother flipping the switch on after several unsuccessful attempts. You’ve just accepted the fact that the power will not come back on.

The thing is. I got used to the darkness after awhile. The light just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I grew accustomed to the darkness and I knew where each edge was. Sure I had plenty of bruises while I did my exploring, scars that will remain forever, but I realized, I kinda like the dark. It feels like a dream. Sometimes, I rather be asleep because when I’m awake my life has the tendency to fall apart….

and when the light comes back on after awhile, it kinda blinds and hurts you.