After camp, my social life should be going into a hiatus mode. I don’t think I will be going out anywhere for anything for a very long while. No idea how am I going to survive it.
The long scolding and nagging after work everyday. Planning my future for me which only includes a 500 a month salary and no certificates. In a way, I know she’s trying to push me to try harder, but it’s making me feel less and less motivated by every scolding.
I know I did not do well in my final terms this year. You really didn’t have to talk behind my back to my friend you know. I may not seem much but I still do have feelings deep inside me. Saying in front of me “must sent chen to tuition. don’t wan like the jie jie.” Every single word pierces through my hurt and staying there so it hurts.
You say I don’t feel anything even after everything. Can’t you see the tears I have been holding back? I no I am not smart so I try to make up in every single way possible. Getting editor for magazine, you ask – why not chief? I get monitor – Why you take that job? I get IT director, you ask – why not president?
Sometimes, I really feel kind of tired. I am really not even interested in the things I am studying but I do not want to switch to art stream. Actually, I do not even know what I want?
Maybe this whole being grounded thing is actually a good thing. I think I need that push to make me start studying. Catching back up on all the work I missed out on. Taking a break from everything that had been going on. Take a break from Leo. Take a break from magazine. Just taking a break from certain stuffs which have been troubling me.
I will be missing my last month of freedom. Gonna be seventeen next year. Being grounded all year long? It’s going to be hell of a great year. Can’t wait!
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